Mommy don't cry! Kiss Kiss

Been busy lately, as I was in a progress for searching a new shelter for our little family.
It was a challenging new year task and I think it will be a cool thing to do. I really got excited about it.

But in a reality, everything was not as cool as I thought.
I must absorb as much information that I could get, which make my brain overcapacity.
My mind keep working, I couldn't sleep for night and no time for taking nap as I usually love to.

Since then, my emotion move like a roller coaster up and down.
Thing that unusual for me was I asked my mother to take care of Josh and leaving him without any guilty feeling or missing feeling.
I easily get mad when he refuse to eat, cause I thought I have offered him various of food, and he still refuse it.
With my brain overcapacity to think about that new challenging task, left a little space for a creative idea how to feed my lil grown up Josh.
I must admit, these week was a week where I heard josh cried many times. Easily cried for something small.

So I stopped a while and started to evaluate, and I realized, what I have done should be better than this.
I shouldn't get drain in such situation. I must overcome it all.

When three of us in bedroom, suddenly I cried out.
Josh who saw me full with tears started to cried also.
Daddy who saw both of us crying together, asked Josh to gave me a kiss.
A miracle, Josh really kissed me without any rejection, many times.
Seem want to said "Mommy, please don't cry, I gave you my kiss to calm you down!"
For all to know, Josh barely kiss us, especially if we asked him to do it.
That make my heart feel so happy and hurt on the same time.
Happy as I know he has a love for me as his mother.
Hurt as I thought I shouldn't abandon him, I should work harder to be a better mommy for him.
Through these all, I was reminded that becoming a parent was a lifetime learning process, and one most important lesson we learn from was through our children.

Josh was our a little angel - a gift from God.
Seeing how Josh kiss me can turn my tears into a smile.
We love you Josh.