Moments and Memories

Moments and Memories

Monday, 28 July 2014

When Holiday Trip being Cancelled

We have cancelled our 2weeks holiday trip to sydney, as my brother condition suddenly drop.

Brought the ticket last year, wished by my mom, but family came first.

At first, my mom said that she will stayed here, and we shorten the holiday to a week period. Friday when doctor look at my bro, he also allowed to going home on monday, everything seem fine.

Just a day before our departure, Sunday, I look at my bro, like to sleep all the day. Suspect that was medicine side effect, but seem impossible cause it's almost a day. Told the ward doctor and requeat to done the blood test at night.

Monday morning, as planned we bring him home.
But he seem unconsious. Saw the blood test result, the level of ammonia is very high (75 from normal 35).
And I found out he didn't pup as much as he ate.
I remember read on the article about unconsious situation might happen on liver cancer because of the high level of ammonia. And the medicine shall be given was lactutose, for indused him to be able to pup.

Thanks God that my cousin who is a nurse was in Jakarta. And I called her to asked her opinion. She aksed me to used microlax or similar medicine for fastest response, also gave the lactutose.

After the medicine given from 3pm, my bro start to pup. And at noon, he start to gain his mind back.
He didn't remember what has happened.

We let our ticket at 6.30pm gone.

Starting that day, Josh date with Daddy all the time. Eat, sleep, play together.

Just today, we spent our morning in Eco park Ancol. Josh as usual, happy boy, ride the bicycle, gave a bread for pigeon. Funny when we heard Josh asked the pigeon "pigeon, sudah kenyang belum."
Despite everything that seem gloomy right now, don't let it take your heart and believed there a blessing.

Friday, 25 July 2014

With my Brother William UGD Friday 11 July 2014

Ini kali ketiga adikku masuk ke UGD rumah sakit.
Ia mengalami diare dan badannya sangat lemas sekali.

Aku menemaninya di UGD sementara Josh ikut papa kerja ke kantor.
Saaat memunggu diruang UGD, aku bertanya, apa yang kau pikirkan?
Dan ia menjawab, bahwa dia takut.
Karena berada di ruang UGD, aku tidak bertanya lebih lanjut lagi, apa maksud dari ketakutan dia.

Sesudah kami menempati ranjang 3015B, dan saat mulai tenang, aku pun bertanya, apakah ketakutannya?

Dia pun bercerita dengan suara yang sangat pelan dan sesekali air matanya juga ikut bercerita (kali pertama aku melihat adikku menangis setelah kepergian papa) bahwa dia berpikir saatnya mungkin akan tiba, dan bagaimana menghadapi ke depannya.
Dia juga tahu mengungkapkan bagaimana nantinya mama menghadapi hal ini.
Dia bercerita bagaimana selama ini dia tidak suka minum obat yang diberikan oleh mama, tapi dia tetap memaksa diri dia untuk minum, supaya mama boleh merasa tenang.
Ia sempat sharing bagaimana ia sebenarnya kadang juga labil, tapi ia belajar untuk tidak komplain demi menjaga perasaan mama.
Aku melihat bagaimana dalam kesakitannya dia memilih untuk menelan keegoisannya, agar supaya juga boleh menjadi saksi bagi mama.
Dia juga berkata bagaimana dia tidak berpikir untuk bersungut menyalahkan Tuhan. Walau dia enggak tahu ini mau kemana, pada akhirnya dia tetap bilang bahwa dia ingin terus setia didalam Tuhan.

Kali ini pula, aku diam mendengarkan saja suara dia yamg sayup sayup itu karena boleh dibilang kali ini lah dia ungkapkan perasaan dia yg lebih mendalam semenjak dia mulai sakit.
Namun baru kali ini pula aku merasakan kelegaan.

Bukankah adikku semakin parah, namun mengapa aku semakin lega?
Lega karena aku tahu bahwa dalam sakit penyakitnya ini, enggak akan dapat mengambil iman nya didalam Kristus Tuhan.

Perbincangan kamipun terputus saat nurse datang memeriksa william.

Monday, 14 July 2014

Holiday - Day 20 - Trial Music Course

During ny childhood, I remember my mom let me explore to lot of thing.
I want to do it also, especially in the music area.

I start to search a music school, and I'm quite interest with Yamaha Junior Music Course - suitable for age ranges from 4-6 years old. It's a group class, once a week, consist of maximal 10 participant, accompanied by parent.

Why a group not private?
Josh is on the age of imitating other. He like to played with other.
So, learn music in a group class will much suitable for him. Beside, I should attend the class too.

I bring Josh to the trial class. At first Josh hesistant to go inside the building.
Then, he saw someone familiar, he said to me, that child is his school friend.
Hmmm, I never saw that child on his class. Then, I talked to child mom and found out the child is from the same school but different class.
Oww, this is not the first time Josh told me how he recognize someone from his school even not on the same class.
Hmmm, I guess Josh really like to pay attention to his surrounding.

Ok, back to the music, after Josh saw the same age friend, he suddenly felt happy.

During the class, he follow the instruction well, he like to sing and seem he could enjoy the class.
The music teacher is very lively, it's a good thing when interact with children.

At the end, mom sign up for the Junior Music Course.
For next semester, let's explore music together Josh. Hope you enjoy it.

Sunday, 13 July 2014

Holiday - Day 21 - Dating with Dad

To end the holiday, as mom need to stay at the hospital, after Sunday School, Josh have a special date with Daddy ^^.

Have lunch, played at indoor playground (rainy day), nap together.

Even it's forced by situation, but mom believe the time Josh spent with Daddy alone is priceless. There will be a good thing happen even in the saddest day. Just be thanksful each and everyday.

Tomorrow school will start, hope lil Josh could catch up soon with his new class.

Friday, 11 July 2014

Holiday - Day 19 - New Bicycle

Uncle William get hospitalized today and mom need to stayed with him.
During the day, Josh taken care by Auntie and Pho-pho.

Josh played with the new bicycle, a birthday present from Auntie Helen and Uncle Sandrye.

Josh really like it.

At the end of day, mom got a report from auntie that Josh behave so good today.
Eat all the food being served, taking a nap without grumbling, played nicely, listened to Auntie and Pho-pho order.

Thanks Josh for being very understanding child when mom could not be with you all the day. Now you learn that other family member care and love you too.

Thursday, 10 July 2014

Josh 4th Birthday - 28th June 2014

My dear Josh,
We were blessed to have you in our family.
When I looked back from the day you were given inside mommy womb, many things have happened, from what we called happiness and sadness, you been through all of that with us.
Everytime we look at you, we believe God have teaches us through a process of nurturing you.
You cry and laugh with us. Even you still a little child, you have try to understand our situation from time to time.
We pray may you grow as someone who Love and Lean on God from day to day.

Happy 4th Birthday Josh, we love you.






Holiday - Day 16 - Science Experiment - Ragi Beraksi

Punya stock ragi dirumah?
Yuks coba eksperimen dibawah ini.
Source: www.sciencebob.com

Alat yg perlu:
Botol kaca kosong
Ragi
Gula
Air Hangat
Balon

Masukan Air Hangat, ragi dan gula ke dalam botol.
Tutup dengan balon (ditarik2 dahulu biar tidak kaku).
Tunggu 30menit. Lihat bedanya.
Tinggal tidur siang, wah beda lagi hasilnya.

Ragi yang buat adonan mengembang, saat ini menggembangkan balon.
Josh main sentil2an dengan balonnya.
Mama memberi penjelasan sederhana dibalik percobaan ini, mudah2an Josh tergelitik rasa penasarannya ^^.



Tuesday, 8 July 2014

Holiday - Day 11 - Playdate - Lego Fun Feast + Water Balloon

At 10am, whatsapp Nathan's mom and asked them to join us check out the Lego Fiesta in F(x) mall.
Used busway and arrived there without any traffic jam.
The Lego diorama is ok and the space is not to big, but it could make Josh and Nathan busy for one hour also. Shall visit at Saturday or Sunday, since they have a single or with parent Lego competition.

Eat lunch and brought a balloon at supermarket, we headed home with taxi and got traffic jam, sigh.
We plan to have a balloon water, an idea from Nathan's mom.
Fill the pool and balloon with water and look at how Josh and Nathan having fun, it's paid off.
After that, they both look at book and spent some time to try re-build the hot wheel track (since I didn't have double tape, I just let it be).
Finished at 5 pm that how we try to spent the holiday with fun play.



Thursday, 3 July 2014

Holiday - Day 10 - Coloring Book Crayola

We spent the day on my mom's house to monitoring my brother condition.

As usual, kids won't stay quite.
He asked me to play Ludo boardgame with him.
The thing that really touch my heart, when he say, "mama, I will congratulate you if you win.".
At first, I guess he might end up with only lips service, but no, he really congratulate me at the end of game. Eventough in the middle end, he stop for a while (again), but after he contemplating him self, he agree to continue when I offer him to finish the game.
I never expect this, but I hope he could keep a good spirit with him.

Then, I search for our old Otoped. Yiaks it's all dirty.
What Josh doing? He clean up with water. Hahaha, of course he like to do it.

While he doing some cleaning, mom search for other thing in drawer and tralaa foung out the gift from years ago from cici Wati. A crayola coloring book.

Why it's kept in drawer?
It's mention 3years+ activity book and I tried it before with Josh, and yeah he didn't really like it. Then I kept it.

Now his reaction, When I gave it to him, he like, "wow, what it's that mommy?"
Quickly open it for me.

See? Don't just give up or push too hard when the first time introduce something to our children. Just let them experience it, explore it. If they like then good. If it's not, than wait. Might be a day, week, month or even one year later.
I just experience a lot when Josh say no, reject, showing dislikeness at first, then become really like, showing eagerness, can't wait expression when it's come to second, third, fourth.... time.
Still they have their favorite and that's okay.

I open it for him and he start to used the pen colouring.
The good thing with this book, colour will only appear in area.
Even sometime you cross the line, the colour will not showed. And because the pen is big size and easy to hold, picture book is also appropriate size for Josh, he could learn to colour inside the line and took little time to finish it compare to usual size of coloring pencil.

He did coloring few picture.
Usually he stop even before one finished.
Funny hah, how kids change. Just enjoyed it :).

Wednesday, 2 July 2014

A word from my little heart - a Reflection to my Brother Illness

Perpisahan.
Panik, sedih, hancur hati, tangis, ketika mengetahui bahwa akan ada perpisahan yang sangat nyata didepan mata dengan sodara yang selama ini bersama sama menghadapi suka dan duka dalam setiap perjalanan hidup keluarga.

Yups, kanker terasa seperti satu kertas kematian yang sudah ditanda tangani dan informasikan melalui dokter.
Stadium-stadium dalam kanker yang membedakan berapa lama perpisahan itu akan datang.

Sering kali terlontar pernyataan, apabila kanker itu dialami di masa tua yah relakanlah, karna memang sudah waktunya untuk menghadap yang Sang Maha Pencipta.
Tetapi jikalau yang masih muda mengalami nya, ratapan, rada kasihan karena betapa singkat usianya, tidak adil rasanya harus sedemikan cepat kembali, masih panjang hidup yang harus dijalani nya.

Lantas sesungguhnya, apa yang menjadi tujuan hidup manusia? Apakah dilihat dari lamanya hidup didunia baru dikatakan dia sudah untung?
Dalam dunia yang penuh dengan tantangan ini, bukankah jikalau boleh banyak yang memilih untuk tidak usah dilahirkan karna perjuangan yang begitu keras dilakukan untuk hidup di dunia ini?
Bagaimana dengan Kristus yang hidup 33thn, gagalkah Dia karna begitu muda umurnya dipanggil?

Pernahkah terdengar bahwa "cancer is just a word not a sentence". Kanker hanyalah kata didalam kalimat, menandakan bagaimana tetap berpikir positif didalam sakit penyakit ini. Namun atas dasar apa kita tetap berjalan positif? Atau, bisakah kita tetap berpikir positif saat kala sakit menusuk ditulang? Saat segala sesuatu tidak ada yang enak?
Tidak ada jalan yang lain, memang hanya dengan memandang kepada "Salib" yang bisa menjadi tumpuan hidup.

Apakah ini penipuan diri? Pelarian diri?
Tidak.

Bagaimana jikalau selama hidup didunia ini tujuannya adalah untuk membuat kita semakin serupa dengan Kristus?
Tuhan yang Empunya kita tentulah Maha Tahu untuk apa hal yang bisa mengasah kita semakin hari semakin hidup serupa denganNya.
Jikalau demikian, bukankah sama pada akhirnya jika kita hidup 3thn, 30thn, 33thn, 53thn, ataupun 73thn?

Tujuan hidup manusia menurut katekismus adalah Memuliakan Tuhan dan Menikmati Dia.
Dalam menghadapi perpisahan dan kematian yang didepan mata pun, jikalau kita bersandar kepada Tuhan, kita akan dimampukan memuliakan Tuhan melalui puji-pujian dalam mulut bibir kita. Nikmatilah waktu waktu berbicara dengan Tuhan.

Apakah tidak sedih? Hanya orang yang mati emosi yang tidak merasakan kesedihan, ketakutan akan kehilangan.
Diriku sedih, terbangun ditengah malam dan gentar terhadap perpisahan kematian ini. Aku menangis dan bertanya-tanya siapkah aku?
Jawaban kucari dalam dunia, tontonan lucu mengalihan sejenak pikiranku, tp apa jawabnya?
Tetap adalah Salib Kristus. Pengorbanan Kemuliaan, Penderitaan dalam Salib itulah yang bisa menjawab nya.

Menangislah sejadi-jadinya, sesudah itu hapuslah air matamu dengan Doa, dan percayalah kekuatan akan memampukan kita.

Terdengar Klise?
Hanya anugerah yang akhirnya memampukan kita melihat lebih dari itu.
Berdoalahlah biar Tuhan yang membukakan mata rohani kita.

Siapakah kita? Hanya keturunan yang diciptakan oleh debu. Namun yang diciptakan baik menurut rupa dan gambar Tuhan.
Debu, mudah hilang, namun Berharga karna serupa dan segambar dengan Tuhan. Rusak karna dosa, hanya Salib menebus kita, diasah untuk kembali serupa dengan Nya. Saat semua sudah selesai, dipanggilNya untuk bertemu.

Bukankah itu pengharapan yang indah? Rasul Paulus bukankah juga berkata bahwa hidup dalah Kristus dan mati adalah keuntungan.

Lantas apakah arti hidup ini jikalau umur panjang diberikan sampai akhirnya binasa?
Apakah artinya menyerah saja?
Hidup adalah perjuangan dalam Kristus, satu haripun kalo dapat membuat kita memuliakan Tuhan, membuat kita serupa denganNya, bukankah itu layak diperjuangkan?
Aku mengasihinya, aku ingin hidup lebih lama dengan nya, tetapi melebihi semua nya itu, kita harus sadari bukan bahwa yang terlebih penting, dia memang sudah berada di Tangan Sang Empunya?

Mengapa kita baru belajar hanya karena kita sudah didepan perpisahan kematian?
Lebih baik belajar daripada tidak sama sekali bukan?
Bagaimana berjalan satu hari demi satu hari dengan Tuhan? Menghidupkan iman bahwa cukup hanya dengan Tuhan saja?
Apapun kondisinya, Bukankah ini juga kesempatan terus menghidupi Firman Tuhan?
Kesempatan?
Yups, Kanker itu juga kesempatan! Kesempatan untuk masih boleh menghidupi Firman Tuhan.

Tetap semangat, jangan biarkan kanker membuat murka duka dalam keluarga.

Pada akhirnya Pujilah Tuhan bahwasanya kasih setia untuk selama lamanya.
Ya, kasih setia Tuhan!, percayakan hatiku?!

Tuesday, 1 July 2014

Holiday - Day 9 - Congklak - Indonesia Traditional Games

Actually I wanna bring Josh having outdoor activity. But something happen on the night made me need to re arrange then my sleeping time taken away.

In the morning, felt so sleepy and decided  for staying at home.

Josh kept playing with his lego.
Morning snack time, I asked Josh to make a rubber rope with me so we can played it later on.

Aftet lunch time, while I need to clean up the desk, I asked Josh to played Congklak with me.

At first, I really confused how to explain this game with 4 years old kid.
But I just try my best, explain the rule along the way, and voila... he could played it now.

Another tips, I gave him a first turn and at the end he win the game. He got more shell than me. He was happy and asking me to played again (hahaha I guess because he win the game he felt excited and want to try it again).

At night, we played the rubber rope and he never stop laughing. Me and daddy agree by looking at Josh, it make us happy.

Guess what, before sleep, he aksed me again for another Congklak time.
Surprisingly at the end of game, we got the same shell quantity :). ~both happy~