To my Dear love - a reflection on new year eve

28Dec I get ill again. What worst was I have planned to climb mountain early january. The weather will be harsh also, need a very fit stamina.
Started with vomit till diarrea, all body hurt, can't sleep well. Hmm gastric problem start now.

On 29Dec, I think to get hospitalized. But then I felt so weak, cold, dizzy, stomach cramp, and all.. I tried to sleep and I didn't know after a few hours later with hand warmer on my stomach, suddenly I get better. Better means I can only eat. But still can't walk far, feel nouseous even to my phone.

During this hard time, he keep encourage me and accompany me.
Even sometime I'm upset, he try to console me and make me laugh in my hardest time.

Some people may say how come the gastric problem so worse on you.
But Calvin knew me very well. I always be a full spirited person but there will be a day when I fall sick, I can only stay on my bed.

Till now I didn't know whether I can Join the team or not.
But Calvin never say to quit. He keep prepare everything for me. Help me to get better till the very last.

It's truly my mistake when I got ill. But he just never blame me or angry with me.

I felt his love,caring,patient towards me during this end of year in my weakness. What could I asked more.
I felt embarrass to my self. I started to think whether I can do the same, will I not complain if it him in my situation.
To close the 2017 and open the 2018 I just pray may God give me more time to live with him in a family of Christ.
I want to love you more Calvin and be a good wife and mother to our son.

P.S. Yes you can used ur coupon next year!

Memberikan kepercayaan pada Josh - edisi bersepeda

"Ma, aku mau naik sepeda."
"Josh bantuin mama beresin tanaman dulu, baru mama bisa temani."
"Aku bisa sendiri ma, aku ke jalan gang yang tidak ada mobil."
Mama masih ragu dan bingung, jika mama temani, maka kerjaan tanaman mama tidak akan selesai, selain itu Josh juga merasa tidak dipercaya.
"Ayolah ma, aku sudah bisa." "Aku dah sepeda sendiri, waktu sama papa."
Akhirnya mama bilang "oke Josh. Perhatikan mobil yang datang. Dan selalu bersepeda disamping. Minta Tuhan jaga kamu yah"

Akhirnya Josh keluarkan sepedanya dan mengayuh. Mama buru buru ke depan perhatiin dari jauh.
Rasa tenang, Josh sudah masuk ke jalanan tanpa mobil, mama masuk lagi kerjain tanaman.

Jritttt.... Bunyi rem sepedanya.
Wah rasanya belum lama tapi dia sudah kembali.
Ada suara senang dari Josh. "Aku sudah putar ma" "Aku mau keliling lagi."
Lalu dia keliling lagi bolak balik.
Sampai mama keluar.
"Josh mau coba ke jalanan sebelah sana?" Jika tadi belok kanan sekarang arah jalan kiri.
"Mau."
Ma lihatin dari jauh... Wadow.. Ada mobil ada truck walaupun berjalan lambat karena di komplek rumah, tapi deg degan juga melepas Josh.
Waktu kembali Mama tanya "kamu deg deg an ngk Josh?"
"Iya ma, aku deg deg an tadi. Tapi aku tetap disamping."
"lain kali kalo deg-deg an jangan tambah cepat yah..nanti kamu susah berhenti..lebih baik kalo kamu ragu..stop dipinggir dulu biarin lewat dulu".
Josh pun mengiyakan dan balik lagi mengayuh sepedanya.
Ada kira kira 20menit bolak balik - sementara mama lanjutkan kegiatan nanam. Sampai puas, dia masukkan sepedanya kembali.
Ada rasa bangga, senang, seru, dia sudah bisa bersepeda sendiri.
"Enak yah ma bisa bersepeda."
(Josh sih enak yah, Mama tetap bersikap cool, walau sebenarnya deg deg an banget)

Mama belajar menyerahkan Josh kedalam tangan penjagaan Tuhan ketika mama tidak berada bersama Josh.
Biar Josh juga belajar bahwa Tuhanlah yang senantiasa menjaga dia.

December Devotion 2017

Welcoming december, I try to think what to do to make it special from other month.
I want to make a special corner for us to remembering the Christmas.

A lot of devotion out there, but at the end I choose The book from Sinclair Ferguson - The big book of Question and
Answered about Jesus. I hope by reading the book daily with Josh, he has a more understanding about Why Jesus come, which will answer the other question - what the true meaning of christmas.

So welcome december and we have started the book and Pray may God help us to love Him more.

Ps. Got the signature during Refo500Jakarta.